I have experienced gut-wrenching sorrow
and heartbreak to learn of the way women have been mistreated on our Baptist Seminary
campuses and in our churches when they bravely reached out for help and reported
assault and abuse. Sadly, it was appropriate and necessary for Southwestern Baptist
Theological Seminary to fire its President for the way he taught and dealt with victims of abuse and rape. While I have been
sickened to find out how these women were “broken down,” I was not surprised. I am sad to say that
the problem is much bigger than just one person or one school. The truth is, hundreds of
pastors and professors across the nation could be fired for counseling women in
similar ways because that is what they are being trained to do. These harmful counseling
“techniques” are being taught and used in churches, seminaries and different
denominations around the country and someone has to stop it. I am not suggesting that we fire all of them, but we do need to fix them. For far too long victims have been treated as if
they were the problem. The truth is, they are not, and the only way to fix the real problem is to re-train and re-teach pastors, counselors, teachers and church
members.
To demonstrate the pervasive nature
of the problem, here is an excerpt from my Counseling textbook from The John
MacArthur Pastor’s Library written by faculty from The Master’s Seminary that
was used at Southwestern in the fall of 2012:
The rest of the chapter focuses on
how to have more “successful” counseling sessions. Common human decency would
indicate that the problem was the counselor’s foolish and dangerous advice, but
twice the book affirms the correctness of his comments, referring to them as truthful and appropriate to her situation. The rest of the chapter describes
how to build a relationship with the victim first, then talk to them about their “sin” and convince them to accept the
very same advice, delivered in a “compassionate” way. This is sick, twisted,
evil and the very opposite of compassionate.
Domestic violence is a sin.
Spousal abuse is a crime. Sexual assault is evil. It is never appropriate to
cover up abuse, silence a victim, punish or chastise a person who trusted you enough to
reach out for counseling. There is a tremendous difference between church discipline and counseling. While corrective instruction might help someone who is dealing with sinful patterns that harm themselves and those around them, it is extremely dangerous, harmful and inappropriate to use nouthetic, or corrective counseling on the victim of a crime or someone who has been harmed or mistreated. That is cruel, not compassionate or empathetic. I do want to mention that we spent a few days talking about crisis counseling when I was in Seminary, but there are too many people out there who continue to use admonishing, corrective counseling on victims and this must be stopped. When one person has all of the power, or has forcibly taken power over another person, a counselor cannot and must not take the role of mediator. They must take the role of protector and shield or provider of assistance and minister of wise counsel that leads to the ultimate safety and peace of the one being counseled.
If a counselor is focused on
correcting instead of comforting, they have missed the whole point of Biblical counseling.
He comforts us in all our afflictions, so
that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction. (2 Corinthians
1:4)
God comforts us so that we can comfort others. Blaming and Shaming
victims is despicable. The Bible calls upon us to come alongside victims in
their time of need, to offer empathy and compassion, to treat them with dignity
and restore their hope. We are meant to allow the Holy Spirit to work through
us to heal the broken hearted and bind up their wounds.
It is the responsibility of everyone who follows Jesus to show
compassion and empathy, to restore hope and dignity, to provide protection and
safety and to minister peace.
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Here are a few helpful links to thorough Biblical examinations of how to comfort victims:
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